Before moving to London I decided/promised to myself that I would open a blog and write on it regularly and post as many pictures as I could about this experience. So here I am... writing.

Once I came back to London, I got a temporary job offer, I said yes even though I didn't really want that job but that meant extra money and more experience. I worked sixty hours (or probably even more) every week for one month, doing sales in the morning and waitress in the evening. My manager was a complete asshole and put me shifts that I couldn't do, so I asked for help to my other manager who was so kind and helpful and I managed to get a better rota. Then my other manager was upset with me, and kept treating me like I was a factory worker, so I decided to quit my job.
I tried to quit so many times and never been brave enough to give that fucking resign letter. Even when I found a better job, few months ago, I accepted and declined their offer weeks later because I was too scared to go to a new place and learn everything again. I said to myself "if you wait to find a job you'll do like last timeand you will never leave," so I left.

Now, two weeks after I still have no job, I did at least three trial shifts and got no answer. One actually made me think that I got the job and then he didn't call me back. I've been sending e-mails all day everyday trying to get some responses but very few did.
On top of that, my roommate booked her flight back home for the 1st of April, which means I also have to find a place to live.

I tried to push myself into photography works, I tried to make projects, to sketch ideas, to make moodboards, I tried to contact people and agencies. I'm still trying and I don't know where this will go. So far, all I know is that I'm lost.

I thought I knew what I wanted, and part of me still does, but I feel like this is just too big for me. I'd like to focus on my future, my plans,my dreams and suddenly I have to think about finding a crap job and a crap room first. And I have no time or money to waste. I feel like I need to breathe, I can't breathe. London is eating me, everytime I feel like I can stop and finally have the strenght to do what I want, I just don't.

That said, I'm not gonna sit here and cry and complain about how non-successful is my life right now. I know this is what I'm doing, but I will do it for just today then I will try to go on. Keep trying, keep going, keep failing miserably and hopefully find my success too. Because most people do and they didn't give up. No one said it was easy.

Now I have some great opportunity, and seeing how my plans faded so quickly and how everything that I was sure about turned out to be the complete opposite, I'm so scared I will fuck up everything. Please, please, please cross your fingers for me.

Hampstead Heath

A while ago I went to Hampstead Heath park, one of the wildest parks of London. It was quite interesting but we got lost several times (no maps around). At the end I guess we saw just a little part of the park.

Notting Hill Carnival

I'm baaack. In Landaan. Yes, actually I was already back two weeks ago, on saturday, the saturday before Notting Hill Carnival (which was on Sunday 24/Monday 25).

NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL. I mean, I didn't even have the time to arrive at home, sleep and rest after traveling all day that my housemates organized a barbecue (it was my friend's birthday, okay, fair enough.)

 I was tired as hell and all I wanted to do was going straight to bed and sleep for twelve hours, but I was a good friend enough to stay awake and join the bbq. And, to my surprise, it was a very nice bbq. It was just us (no awkward conversations with strangers aka my housemates' friends) enjoying one of the last summer evenings. They used to give a bbq every two weeks for god knows what kind of event, and I was getting pretty tired of all these weird dinners together, but this time was fine. I stayed awake until midnight just talking about Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, awkward singers, tv shows and hot actors and I really had a great time. Never talked that much with the people I'm living with. Now two of them left, and the other two will leave in two weeks from now, quite sad, like the end of summer. Should I say that I like better the grey, cloudy, rainy London than the sunny one? I don't know but lately I'm walking around the streets thinking about how this kind of weather really suits London. It really does, when it's sunny, everyone is happy and everything is amazing but it kind of feels wrong. London is what it is and this weather is what makes it so special.

But let's get back to my return.

At the bbq, we were casually talking when one of my housemates asked me and my friend if we were going to "the festival". At that point I thought "God, can I please have just a day to stay home and sleep?" cause seriously, I needed rest. Traveling is so damn stressful.

But "yes", we decided to go to this Notting Hill Carnival,which apparently was a big event 'cause there were posters everywhere.

We went, it was nothing special. It could have been if you go there with the intention to get drunk and dance with your friends. But we went there expecting a parade, with heavy bags and my camera. And, it was nearly impossible to walk. We spent more time trying to get through the crowd than exploring the festival. So, yeah, maybe next year will be better.

What else? Everyone is leaving the place where I'm working, I'm trying to leave as well but the job hunting is more complicated than expected, so we'll see. Hopefully I will find something by the end of the month. I went to a leaving party and had really fun, I laughed so much and everyone was drunk (except me). And people should really stop to buy me drinks/tequilas/beers 'cause I DON'T DRINK.

I say that for their wallet's good and mine.

That's all. See you next time.

Greenwich and picnic

When my best friend was still here, her brother took us to Greenwich. Of course the weather was shit again,what would you expect.

I didn't even take that many photos 'cause there was no point.  BUT, I will go back and I will post loads of photos.

Then there are few photos from the day that me and my friend went to Regent's Park and few others from last week when I went with my friend to St. James' Park for a picnic. It was supposed to be an international picnic, with four of us and dishes from our countries. But eventually it was just me and Sylwia with a sort of polish apple pie and crepes with cheese. AND CREAM. Don't forget the cream.

It was nice though, at one point it even started to rain. Unusual, huh?

I will write another blog post soon 'cause I might have nice plans for tonight, which involve photography. Stay tuned.

Kew Gardens

I told you I was planning to visit the Kew Gardens, so I did; I went the day after I wrote the last blog post, on thursday, which was my day off. I went there late, like around 3-4pm so I had very little time to visit it all because the closing time is 6pm. But however, I saw half of it and really enjoyed it. 

First of all it was a beautiful day, sunny and very very hot. The Glasshouse was the first thing I visited and as soon as I walked inside I was nearly dying because of the hot temperature. It was almost impossible to breathe, but still it was amazing. Not that I'm interested in gardening or plants or whatever but I liked the atmosphere there. As you can see I took a lot of photos and that kept me too busy to actually pay attention to what kind of plant I was capturing, there were too many anyway, I would have spent all afternoon reading the captions under the plants. Crazy.

But let's go on with the tour: one of the best parts of my little trip at Kew Gardens (if not the best) was when I walked outside of the Glasshouse and found myself in a garden full of roses. It kind of reminded me of Alice in Wonderland and the smell of the roses was so strong that was overwhelming. I think at one point I was seriously trying not to cry because I was feeling way too emotional. It's stupid, I know, that's the way I am. Crying for roses, hah! But sometimes the beauty of certain things really makes me emotional, I was just born this way. Yeah, I'm stupid.

Then I went to the Kew Palace but it was nothing special, and also the Royal Kitchens and after that I bought a delicious carrot cake. (I really can't stop myself from buying cakes.)

Now I can't wait to go back to see the rest because I loved it and I loved that I spent my day off visiting something new, I should really do this more often. And you should too.

Now, my best friend is coming next month and we are planning to go to Brighton and I really can't wait. 

Family trip around London

My family came to visit me last week after three months of me staying away from home (quite too much for them) so we did a little trip all around London. My mum had already been here with me few years ago, but it was the first time for my brother and my grandma, so I took them to the most famous places. You will see nothing new or unseen but you can still enjoy.

That week the weather was awful, rain and cold all days except the last one which was kinda fine. It was still winter, like I was going around with my coat and my boots and now I'm wearing summer dresses and sandals; and it was just one week and a half ago. So you can imagine why people keep complaining about London's weather. One day it's winter and the next is summer. Nice. 

However, I did few things for the first time as well since I came here in London (guess what!) like  visiting the London Eye and cruising on the Thames. I also went to see the Tower Bridge which I had never seen before. Despite the weather was really hateful, I had fun and it felt like home to stay with my family. I really like London, but nothing feels like home, not yet at least and even it feels like ages since I moved here. It's just three months though, can you believe it? Time fucking flies. Tomorrow it will be already one year, it's so scary and exciting at the same time. Yeah, maybe I won't be even be here in London in one year, who knows? Hopefully I will still be somewhere.

Also I was thinking that I used to spend all my days off travelling and visiting London and now it's been a while since I did the tourist so I decided I want to start road tripping around London and the whole England whenever I have the chance and the money to do it. It's such  beautiful country and I really can't wait to see all of it. During these last few months I fell in love with every garden and park I went to. They have like something, not sure what, but they still have something magical or surreal. I went to Hyde Park one day and I felt like I was in a painting, and for someone like me who loves paintings and art and stuffs like that, it's just amazing.

Tomorrow I'm planning to go to the Kew Gardens and maybe I will write a blog post about it. Wish me luck!

Tate Gallery

  After looong, long time I finally decided to post about my trip at the Tate Modern Gallery. You know, when I was home (back in Italy) I barely went out, especially by my own, but here in London it's almost impossible to stay home: so many things to see and do. So on one of my days off I went to the Tate Modern. 

I have to say I'm not a fan of galleries, museums or exhibitions unless it's something involved with photography, but I really liked it. It was nice to see some of the things I've studied in High School and recognize almost every artist. However, the best part of the gallery was the shop. After few hours of visiting every room I ended up in the shop of the Tate: BIG MISTAKE. One of the main things I have to remember now is to save, save, save. And when I went to the shop all I wanted to do was buy, buy, buy. A lot of magazines, books, gadgets, I wanted to buy everything. I think I've spent more hours inside that shop than visiting the gallery. But luckily I didn't buy anything. 

Lately I've been spending days working, eating and sleeping, mainly because the weather has been awful. Cold and rain while in Italy everybody went to beach, nice. I'm still wearing my winter coat and waiting for the summer to arrive so I won't be spending so much time thinking about what I should wear. I love summer only because it's so easy to dress up. Dresses, shorts, tops and you're done. When I wasn't tired enough to go out I went to Waterstone and spent few hours in the Photography and Fashion department reading and exploring some books, or visiting some charity shops and shopping here and there. I miss taking photos, I barely do it lately, but since my family is coming to visit in few weeks maybe I'll be start again. London deserves to be captured.

Yesterday I didn't want to go home after work so I went to Victoria and Pimlico to search some charity shops and I ended up finding an absolutely amazing photography shop. A lot of vintage goods, polaroids and so many lenses. I was dying and the prices weren't even high. I found a Rolleiflex for 169£ which I guess is not much, is it? When I'll be able to spend some money on photography that's where I'll go. 

Let's hope the next blog post won't be next month. 

Highgate Cemetery (East side)

 

It's April now and one day it feels like spring while the day after it's winter again. This weather's back and forth is annoyng, really, I wish I could get to know what's the secret. I guess I just need to wait and see.

However...

The other day we went to Highgate Cemetery, since my roommate is apparently a fan of witches, ghosts and haunted places. Luckily for us it was a hot and sunny day, so we enjoyed our little trip in this very non-creepy cemetery. We actually only visited the East side because we found out that to visit the West side you have to book online. It was nice though, we eventually discovered there was also Karl Max's grave. Then we went to the nearest park and took a few photos there too, I ate a very good banana and then we went home.

And to tell you another funny story, just few hours ago we've been locked out, I mean, we forgot both of our keys into our bedroom. I know it was just about time because it happened a few times before that we were about to close the door when, somehow we remembered we had the keys inside. We were going crazy when one of our housemates came downstairs and saw us laughing hysterically and told us "try from the windows" but they were closed, like locked, and then he said "use force then" and I looked at my roomie and she started laughing again, but then went straight to the door pushing it with the shoulders and she did open it. I swear that moment was epic. We started laughing again and wouldn't stop for a while. Haha. I don't know if I'm more relieved that we managed to open the door or worried that anyone can actually push our door open without keys. 

For now I'm just happy I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop, listening to music and getting bored as usual. I need friends, a boyfriend, a job, whatever, anyone?

Covent Garden, British Library and Holland Park

Hello!!! Last few days I had a lot time by myself since my roommate and friend had few different job trials, so I decided to do the tourist. Of course I'm supposed to go aroung looking for a job but, hey, I'm in London let me enjoy the city a little bit!

However, a friend of mine suggested me to visit Covent Garden (which I already saw on my trip back in 2009) and Holland Park.

For those of you who already know Covent Garden, you surely know how magic and beautiful it is, especially for the live music, but for the others who have never been there, well, you must visit it! Covent Garden is a must if you go to London, there are many little shops, and there is also a little market and many many restaurants/bar/cafè. But the best thing about this place is live music. 

The other day there was this girl, Sammie Jay, who is so talented, I loved each song of hers, either if it was a cover or an original song. I stopped and listened for half an hour at least, and I'm sorry I didn't give her nothing at all because she deserved it. But you know, I need money as well eheh, for now at least.

Also, I don't if they still cook it, but when I visited London in 2009 and went to Covent Garden I ate the Jacket Potato, it was so good you really should try it (here's the link to that trip, I took a photo so you can see what it looks like.) The food is basically the other good thing about Covent Garden. So, really, go visit Covent Garden!!